[PG-13] "Light is good from whatever lamp it shines." Anonymous ********************* Deus ex Haruka by +Gradient ********************* Dear Diary & M., It happened again today. I hate myself. I wish I could just stand up to her and say no, but it's no use. Maybe I'll just pretend to be sick and stay home from school tomorrow. I might not have to pretend. I'll write you again tomorrow. Your friend, Sae * * * * * "Ready!" Muscles tensed in the mirage-inducing convection waves emanating from the hot paved surface. It was only April, but the extremely warm weather of the week had turned the afterschool track practice into much more of an exercise in endurance than those participating had previously suspected. "Set!" Not excluded from this was one particularly svelte-looking, sandy blonde-haired runner in lane two. Still, this was her favored position, and she reveled in it. Only a gunshot and a matter of mere seconds until another victory in this sprint event, she smiled inwardly. For now, however, the only thing that stood between her and those events was a matter of concentration, as she expertly anticipated the starter's pistol. One-tenth of a second -- that's my secret. I can guess the starter's intentions down to that margin. It's really just a matter of experience, really. Anybody can do it if they've started enough races like this. The key is concentration. Concentration. I can feel it -- here it comes -- he's going to fire it -- n . . ." "FALSE START! LANE THREE!" "What the hell?" said loud enough to not be overheard by the judges yet given adequate flavor to swirl around the palate of those runners around her and leave a sour taste. One of her other abilities, of course, was to isolate annoyances with a minimum of effort. "All right, everybody," the coach sighed. "Five minute break. Get some liquids. This hot weather is working against us." The blonde, however, refused to break stern eye contact with the shorter, brown-haired, pony-tailed girl beside her. "Katsumoto Sae! You false-started! Again! If you're ever assigned a lane beside me again, I want you to know that if you false-start, break my concentration, and cost me another race like you did last week, I'll personally have you kicked off the team! This is intolerable!" "I'm sorry, Tenoh-sempai! I really am sorry. I'll try my best to not let it happen again." An observer would have had a difficult time deciding whether the girl was shaking because of the anticipation of the race or due to her current encounter. "Yeah, but it will. Damn! How did you ever get on the team in the first place? I told the coach they should have never let the ninth-graders participate on the senior level, but since the school is so small, I guess they *had* to let you join up. What a sham!" "Again I'm . . . I'm sorry Tenoh-sempai," her voice much more unsteady this time. "I'll . . . I'll . . ." "You'll . . . you'll . . . Good God! How are you ever going to finish a race clean if you can't even get a sentence out straight?" She looked around in disgust. "I'm leaving." She violently grabbed her bag lying on a nearby bench and angrily removed the sports drink inside, squeezing the plastic container to spray the liquid into her mouth. As her head was positioned upward, she thought she saw a flash of green out of the corner of her eye, over by the entry gate. But by the time she looked again, it was gone. Yeah, a mirage, Haruka mused to herself. * * * * * "Exams posted! Exams posted!" the boy running down the hall announced with glee. It was, of course, the siren call for the weary student, a chance to see how all of the effort poured from their respective souls during the last month had fared against the unerring, savage honesty of the standardized test. For others, however, it was less an affirmation of their intellectual standing than a reminder of their overall superiority. Haruka sighed as she basked in the afterglow of receiving this reminder. Tenth. Not bad, as it was a hard series of tests. She stared up the list to find one name in particular. Kaioh Michiru. Third. Third, she laughed privately. I'll be hearing about this all week, about how she messed up because she was sick or something. She smiled wider as she pondered the rather naughty possibility that she was having something of a bad influence on her companion. Throughout the hubbub and commotion that was exam posting time, she managed to hear one word in particular from the crowd that caught her rather finicky attention: "Sae! Sae, I finished twenty-third! How did you do?" Not receiving an immediate response, the friend beside decided to search for the name on the posting herself. Her enthusiastic mood was hard to contain and, unknown to her, to be short-lived. "Look! There you--- oh---Oh, Sae-chan, I'm so sorry. I know how hard you studied for---" "No. No, it doesn't matter. I'll just try harder next . . ." It was at this precise moment, of course that the young girl decided to look up to see the tall, sandy-haired girl peering at her at a cold angle from above, wearing a smile so malevolently smug and superior as to be almost surreal. The older girl, hands in pockets, simply smirked, turned her back, and left, leaving the younger girl with her echoing thoughts. I probably shouldn't have done that, Haruka thought to herself. No, I take that back, I *should* have. She needs to be set straight. Put in her place. As she sauntered down the hall in her aura of palpable arrogance, Haruka wondered whether the green blur she saw turning the hall corner through her peripheral vision was real or just the motions of the crowd playing upon her imagination. Yeah, probably the latter. * * * * * The girl sitting at the bench heard the person approaching from behind, but decided to say nothing. The uninvited visitor, on the other hand, took the moment's silence as an opportunity to whisper a proposition into the girl's ear: "Does the pretty young girl need some help with her homework, pray tell?" "Your kind of help, I don't need." "Mmmmm? Touche! A little aggressive, aren't we, Michiru?" "I'm not in a particularly good mood today, Haruka." The blonde backed away from the bench rather quickly and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, 'I'm not in a particularly good mood today, Haruka.' Is that the best you can do? I haven't seen you for four days and *that's* how you greet me? I'm . . . I'm . . ." she held her closed fist to her chest and looked upward in her most dramatic pose, doing her best to contain her laughter, "Devastated!" "Look, Michiru, I know you did well at that swim meet you just got back from. Atoki-san told me so. So why are you in a sour mood? And why didn't you tell me yesterday when you returned early? You weren't supposed to be back until this evening." "As to why I didn't tell you that I returned early, I had other business to attend to. As for why I'm in a bad mood, well, it's for much the same reason." Haruka twisted her way around the bench and uninvitedly plopped herself down beside her companion, giving her a careful eyeballing to see if there was something on the surface that she had missed. "You know, Michiru, Setsuna's supposed to be the mysterious and cryptic one among us, not you." "Sorry to disappoint." Continuing her silent inspection, Haruka's eyes gradually drifted downward until they met Michiru's open backpack. Crammed within was something pink, rectangular, and altogether absent in Haruka's memory of Michiru's possessions. The following question was, therefore, inevitable: "Hey, what's that you've got in your bag?" "Nothing." "*No,* Michiru, it's not nothing. Now come on, tell me?" Haruka added a coquettish turn to that last question, a flirtatious move that the intended did not respond to at all. "You mean you don't recognize it? Somehow I thought you might remember something that you're responsible for." "Michiru, you're talking in circles. Now, let's see what it is . . ." Using her great speed, Haruka moved her hand down to the item, putting a firm grip on it, but not removing it from the bag. Michiru's hand was almost as fast, moving to hold it within. "What do you think you're---let go of that!!!" "Oh, touched a nerve, have I? Must be interesting!" "You want to see it? Fine!" She angrily removed her hand. Haruka slid the item into her lap while keeping her eyes locked on Michiru's, lest she attempt some type of subterfuge. It was not until she turned her eyes upon the item that they became as large as the proverbial saucers, quite possibly the widest they had ever opened. This new record would last exactly one minute. "An exchange diary? An exchange diary! You actually exchange diaries with someone else? And not me? This is . . . this is . . ." There are two ways she's going to react to this, Michiru thought. She might just fly into a jealous rage. That is, if I'm lucky. If I'm unlucky, she'll say something like . . . "This is the funniest thing I've ever seen! What is it? Are you trying to become a conventional 1990s Japanese girl now?" "Haruka, that's enough." "Maybe you'll invite me over to your place and we can discuss the latest idol sensations. It will be so cool! Plus we can sit around and swoon over SMAP and watch reruns of SMAPXSMAP all day." "Haruka!" "Although I'm more of a Hyper Hyndu Squatters girl myself . . ." "Alright, that's it. I'm leaving." "No, no. Sorry, I'm sorry," Haruka attempted to regain her composure from laughing. "I just would like to know what's the problem." "*That is* the problem," she indicated the diary. "Or more precisely, it tells who the problem is." "What do you mean?" "Why don't you open up the cover and take a look at whose diary this is?" "Fine, I'll look, although I don't know what difference it will make." She looked down to the kanji forming the person's name and the aforesaid record was broken instantly. "Katsumoto Sae!?!" "Yes." "You know her?!?" "Yes. Her parents and my parents are close." "And you're exchanging --" "Yes. What's the matter, Haruka? It looks like you've just seen a ghost." "Well, I mean, it's just that . . . just that . . . " "Just that *what*, Haruka? There wouldn't happen to be anything in this book that you would be ashamed of, *is there*?" "Michiru, you don't understand, I was just teasing her like ----" "Oh, I understand perfectly, Haruka. You've been making that girl's life a living hell since the start of this year. I almost didn't believe it until I saw it myself -- two times yesterday -- at the track and in the hall." "I didn't mean anything by it -- you know how I am sometimes." "Yes, *I* do, but she doesn't. She's terrified of you, Haruka. I've known her for ten years, even though she just transferred here this year. You don't know her at all. You should read some of the things she's written in there. It's pathetic, and you're causing it." "Look, I'm sorry. I just thought it might build some character for her. I promise to start treating her better right away." "No, Haruka, it's not that easy. She knows that I'm also fairly close to you. If you just start acting nice to her out of nowhere, then she'll know that I put pressure on you to do it, and that will embarrass her worse than anything. No, we're going to have to figure out some other way to sort this out." "Well, maybe if I just gradually became nice . . ." "No, I've thought of that too. She's smart, smart enough to see through that as well." The blonde raised her hand to rub her brow, deep in thought. There was, of course, no easy answer forthcoming, and therefore she predictably became quite frustrated: "Hrmph! This is turning into some sort of Greek tragedy." "Why Haruka, sometimes you surprise me." "Eh? What do you mean?" "Well, you mentioned that this was turning into a type of Greek tragedy, and I was just thinking, what if that *did* happen." "Oh, really? Hmmm . . . got some sort of exotic Bacchic festival in mind? -- I could go for that -- Haruka the Satyr." "I'll file that one for future reference, but actually I was referring to the dramatic ending. You remember from Tsuboro's literature class, don't you? The 'Deus ex Machina'." "Well, actually I sort of skimmed . . . " "The 'Deus ex Machina', the 'God from the Machine', was one of the most common and convenient ways to resolve a tragic plot. Having a god or supernatural figure descend from the heavens at the climax of a story and force a happy ending." "I still don't see how this relates to me." "*A god or supernatural figure . . .*" "You--you don't mean--" "It's a bit contrived and cliche, that I'll admit. But effective as well. You can't deny that." "No! No, I am *not* going to be the puppet in another one of your schemes, Michiru! I won't do it. I have to draw the line somewhere." "Hmmm . . . that's odd. I believe that's the same excuse you used when I suggested that we . . ." "Michiru!" " . . . while the parents were . . ." "Michiru, that's enough!" . . . " . . . with frosting and a cherry on top." "SHUTUP!SHUTUP!SHUTUP!SHUTUP! My God! We're in public! You just can't keep your mouth shut and tongue from flapping, can you?" "I didn't hear that particular complaint last Saturday n----" "AHHHHHHHHH! All right! All right, Michiru! You win! You win! I'll do whatever you want me to do." "Oh, and you'll carry out my little plan *too*, so just listen very closely . . ." * * * * * "Thanks for inviting me for ice cream, Michiru-san. I really do appreciate it." They both walked behind the school, already deserted for the evening, on their way to the confectionery shop. The younger girl, shorter by at least six inches, could be seen to have an obviously prouder gait as she walked beside her popular friend from childhood. "Oh don't say one more word about it, Sae-chan. I know you need a break from everything that's been going on lately. But don't worry! I have a sneaking suspicion that things are looking up!" "I'm happy that you believe in me, Michiru-san. I don't know what else could help me but, I don't know, a miracle from above or something." "Hey, you never know. Stranger things have happened, much stranger things." Almost as part of some hastily-assembled plan, one Tenoh Haruka appeared on the sidewalk ten meters ahead, walking away into an alley leading to the side. "Michiru-san, look! There's Tenoh-sempai. I know both of you are friends, but, please, let's just avoid her today. You've read my diary and -- I know you're taking a real risk to your reputation just being seen with me in public . . ." "Oh, let's not overreact, now Sae. Let's just go have a talk with her. Hurry, before we lose track of her in that alley!" Precisely one second after Kaioh Michiru finished her observation there appeared an intense flash of light that originated in the aforementioned alley, bright enough to blind them momentarily. When they regained their sight, at least one of them was quite startled to see a girl before them. She wore a sailor fuku and she was about to speak: "Invited by a new age, magnificently at your presence, I am Sailor Ur---" "Moon! Sailor Moon! You're Sailor Moon, aren't you?! I have all of your manga!!" Sae had already begun rummaging around her backpack for her camera by the time she had made her assertion. Apparently she had little inhibition against interrupting convenient plot devices. Oh, this is utterly perfect, Michiru chuckled to herself. A fortuitous alteration of plans, to say the least. She silently thanked whatever deity had provided her with this gift this day. "What?!? Are you blind? Sailor Moon? Isn't it obvious that I am the striking and charismatic Sailor . . ." Before finishing however, Haruka happened to notice an exceedingly harsh glare coming from the eyes and crossed arms of the green-haired girl standing beside her starry-eyed companion. And for the slightest of moments, she knew a fear like none other, and responded thusly: "Moon. Yeah, that's me . . . Sailor Moon." "Yessss! Oh, Michiru, you were right! Things are looking up! This is great!" Sae had to contain her kinetic glee. "But what about . . ." "Don't worry, young girl. I will deal with the gorgeous Tenoh Haruka . . . so . . . so let me just make my way over to the alley where I shall chastise her! Yes!" Haruka waltzed over to the opening of the side street, still within view of the couple, and pointed to the unseen figure within. "Young maidens' hearts ar---" "Excuse me, Sailor Moon!" Michiru called from the side. "Um, yes. How can I help you young girl? I'm in the middle of chastising." "I didn't want to mention it, but . . ." "But?" "Well?" the green-haired observer asked in an increasingly annoyed tone. "Well what?" "*Aren't you going to say it, Sailor Moon?*" "Say it? What the hel---oh--sh----FINE!" For a moment, Michiru thought she could hear Haruka's teeth grinding. "All right . . . InthenameoftheMoonIwillpunishyou." "I didn't quite hear that, Sailor Moon! A little louder please!" Oh yeah, definitely grinding. "grrr . . . In The Name Of The Moon I Will Punish You!" "Psst . . . Michiru -- Why's she looking at you instead of Tenoh-sempai when she's saying that?" Sae was still giggling in the throes of the ecstasy of seeing her hero incarnate. "Not so loud, Sae -- she'll hear you. And she's not looking at me, she's looking at my necklace -- Sailor Moon . . . well, Sailor Moon sort of gets distracted by shiny objects." "Now, as I was saying to you, Tenoh-san . . ." Haruka tried to regain a modicum of dignity, at least as much as a second-rate Sailor Moon impersonator could. "*A*-hem." "WHAT NOW?" "You forgot to strike your mahou shoujo pose, Sailor Moon." "Ah . . ha, ha, very funny; sure I did, young girl. You just missed it!" "No, I don't think so, so show us." Michiru's eyebrows rose in a wave of contrived naughty innocence. "I've heard it's quite . . ." she thought of an inflammatory word, " . . . unique. You wouldn't want to disappoint your biggest fan would you?" "Pose . . . pose . . . how does she do it?" Haruka whispered to herself. "Let's see . . ." she began to contort her fingers and cross her arms in a futile effort to emulate a position she had seen so often. Seeing that the best she could do was a pathetic variation of the traditional hiko dachi karate stance, however, she simply gave up and decided to complete her scolding by looking down the empty alley and pointing an accusatory finger: "Now listen up, you handsome scoundrel! I know being as popular as you are, it might be easy to dismiss others and treat them poorly as you do. But it's not good to hurt others' feelings. So ease up on the girl, or I shall return and chastise you a second time!" Haruka held her breath, waiting for the next dreaded words to slip from Michiru's mouth. One second, two seconds, three seconds; oh, thank God -- it's over. She released her breath in relief. It was exactly one second premature: "That's not enough, Sailor Moon! While her intentions are pure, I'm afraid our Haruka-chan is under the influence of otherworldly evil. To permanently heal her, she needs . . ." "*Now look, I am NOT going to . . .* "PURIFICATION!" This just isn't my day. "She looks pretty pure to me, young admirer. Let's just let whatever demons she's hiding slide this time . . ." "All right, Sailor Moon, if that's what you want to do. But don't be surprised if I have to call you back to finish the job later, and often. Very often. Very." "Very?" "Very." Michiru smiled as the Haruka volcano was about to go critical and erupt, loving every moment of it. "mmmgrrrrAAAAAHHHH! JUST STAND BACK!!!" Haruka raised her and aloft and pulled her henshin wand out of nullspace to provide the theatrical effect for the imminent purification of the Tenoh Haruka supposedly residing in the alley. She performed a few motions that suspiciously reminded Michiru and Sae of a modern dance performance that the entire school had seen a week previously, and then let forth a mighty bellow like none ever heard in the storied history of suburban Tokyo: "MOON SUGOI NIWAKAJITATE SHOUJO JUNJOU KAWAIIWIFICAAAAA--TION!!!!" Lacking any real magic or sound effects, the two viewers simply stood there in the eerie silence that descended upon the moment, watching as "Sailor Moon" remained locked in the last phase of the purification attack, a position almost humorously resembling a flamingo in repose. The silence was to be broken by the youngest of the two onlookers: "Is it just me or is Sailor Moon a lot scarier than in the manga?" "Sae-chan, you don't know the half of it . . ." The sailor-suited visage before them broke her pose and raised her hand to her heart. "Evil has been vanquished and therefore Sailor Moon's job is done! Katsumoto Sae -- you are now under my personal protection! Although Tenoh-san has been healed, if ever evil sullies your dreams . . . "Sullies your dreams?" Michiru chuckled. "Silence, green one! If ever evil sullies your dreams, I will be there -- just tell the now-healed and ever-graceful Tenoh-san, as, through the purification, I now have a special link with her. Just tell her and I, or one of my Sailor Senshi, will be here to assist -- although it probably won't be Sailor Neptune since she's always so busy looking at herself in that damn mirror of hers." "HEY!!! Now wait just one minute, you filthy, double-crossing--" Michiru bit her tongue as she remembered that Sae was beside, but eased when she realized that the girl in question was zoned out, completely locked on remembering every word, motion, and nuance of her new paragon of love and justice. "And if there is one thing I want you to do, Sae, it is to promise me, promise me that you will hold onto those dreams and do your best to make them true. Hold onto them forever. So until next time, always remember to be of pure heart and . . . and . . . and, oh, and the moonlight carries the message of love!" "*Oh, really?* And what exactly *does* that last part mean, Sailor Moon?" "Er, it means, it means . . ." Haruka rapidly looked around to gauge her options. There was but one obvious: "Um, bye!" She quickly leapt into the alley and disappeared. A somewhat awkward pause followed as two minds raced to process the significance of what had just transpired. One came to a conclusion slightly earlier than the other: "Sae-chan, if anybody asks about this, I'm going to deny it." "What happened to Tenoh-sempai?" "Oh, yeah. She should still be in the alley. Let's go see how she is." As they both ran the thirty feet to the alley, the younger of the two noted with some bewilderment an unexpected visitor blowing in the air before her face. "Where did all these rose petals come from?" "Trade winds. Look Sae, there she is!" The blonde girl was sitting against a wall, and appeared to have just awakened from a deep slumber. "Haruka-chan! Haruka-chan! Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine. I must have fainted -- the heat finally got to me." Haruka appeared to shake her head to regain her senses before continuing: "Oh, hello, Sae-chan. I didn't see you there. Oh, was that a good practice we had or what? Looks like it did me in though." The young girl's eyes were already enlarging by the time Michiru helped Haruka to her feet. "Ow. I've got to get in better shape before next week's meet, but we'll still have fun like always, right, Sae-chan?" The utter sincerity in Haruka's smile surprised even the seasoned cynic looking on. "Well, I better run home then. Thanks a lot, Sae-chan, Michi-chan! See you both tomorrow! And I'll see you tomorrow night, Sae-chan -- don't forget our study session!" "Uh, yeah. Right! Thank you, Tenoh-sempai!" Sae was tasting a beautiful mix of elation and astonishment, which caused Michiru to grin. Mission accomplished. As the blonde ran off down the alley, the two girls remaining could only stop, gape, and listen to the birds sing a new song in the distance. "I think I need to sit down . . ." * * * * * As the pair walked home into the last rays of the evening together, they looked forward to the setting sun, coyly avoiding each other's eyes. "You did well. I'm proud of you, Haruka-sama." "Don't embarrass me like that, Michiru." "Oh, whatever do you mean, Haruka-sama?" "You know what I mean. Just don't call me that anymore." "Call you whaaaaaat, Haruka-sama?" "No more." "No more, Haruka-sama?" "No more." * * * * * Dear Diary & M., I don't know if I can write too much right now 'cause I'm so happy and excited. I'll tell you about it a little later, but someone gave me a big gift today, a gift I can't repay. I don't think I'll ever get to see her again, but if you do, would you tell her 'thank you'. And would you also tell her that I'm going to keep my promise, and I'm going to start right now. Your Friend, Sae #1 Sailormoon Fan * * * * * "Well . . . maybe one more time . . ." - - - - x - - - - **************************************************** "They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel." --- Carl W. Buechner Author's Notes: Sailor Moon and associated characters are the intellectual property of Takeuchi Naoko and/or Toei, DiC, Bandai, Kodansha, and a host of other ethereal corporate entities. SMAP is a noted J-Pop idol band and SMAPXSMAP is their TV variety show. Hyper Hyndu Squatters is a real underground Tokyo J-Punk band. Thank you for your time. gradient@thedoghousemail.com http://members.tripod.com/gradient "Deus ex Haruka" Red-2 +Gradient February 1999 ****************************************************